I can't do this all on my own.

Everything reminds me of you.

You asked me to text you once today, to let you know that I'm still thinking about you. To be honest, my mind hasn't left you since you left four hours ago and now I'm curled up, exhausted but not wanting to sleep because I have no idea how to do this. How am I supposed to fix myself, if I don't know the cause of the break? I'm even more fragile and broken already, than when you left. I'm not in pain, no, I'm just numb. I'm numb and frantic. Because I need to cure myself: I can't just treat the symptoms.

I'm afraid, my love, it might take more than two days. I'm afraid, my love, that I won't figure it out. I'm afraid, my love, that i'll have to leave you.

Alex is trying to help me figure this out. I don't like where it's going.

[03:47] Pokemaster: That being said, how are you in pain?[03:47] Pokemaster: That sounds like a really vague question, and I'm sorry about that. ><;[03:47] puritanoatmeal: It's like..[03:49] puritanoatmeal: It's like these frantic thoughts. These frantic, bad thoughts. The ones screaming find the razorblade, the ones screaming, well you have enough pills to overdose in the bathroom. It's the stabbing pain in my lungs that makes me curl up in a ball and sob until I have no more tears left to cry. It's the nausea whenever I get too upset.[03:49] puritanoatmeal: and I get upset at the little things.[03:50] Pokemaster: Do you perchance have any issues with anxiety or paranoia?[03:50] puritanoatmeal: Both, yes[03:51] Pokemaster: Would I be safe in assuming that you don't ever seem to feel safe in your own skin?[03:51] puritanoatmeal: yes.[03:51] puritanoatmeal: My safe place got taken away[03:51] Pokemaster: Where was your safe place before?[03:52] puritanoatmeal: inside my head[03:52] puritanoatmeal: With my voices[03:53] Pokemaster: Can you describe when, how and why it was taken away, and then who took it from you? o_o[03:53] puritanoatmeal: Two weeks ago, my girlfriend stopped caring about me muttering about them, and my girlfriend took it from m. so they went away.[03:54] Pokemaster: Muttering about what?[03:54] puritanoatmeal: about my voices. what they're doing, what they're thinking.[03:55] Pokemaster: Just so we're clear, Rena and your girlfriend are the same person, right?[03:55] puritanoatmeal: Yes.

Help me.