milk and money

kids like you and me

should come with a warning.

--

I had a nightmare last night. I guess I should start off with this: we recently moved into the “family house”, my grandma’s old house. It’s been in my family for three generations now (my grandma, my mom, and now me) and really all I can think about is when my grandma lived here. My grandma is pretty sick right now and I’m kind of paranoid really. I don’t know how I got this idea in my head but I had a dream that my grandma had moved back in for a little while and then we had a “family reunion” (and I don’t know how that worked because my friend Casey was there). The girls had all left and I had stayed behind, the boys were playing catch outside in front of my house. If you missed the ball you had to throw it down by the lake and then go get it. (It doesn’t make sense, I know.) Apparently in this, I had a crazy cousin who hated me. He had a shotgun. He shot down by the lake and then up in the air for no reason, and then started throwing rocks at me and calling me names. I saw my mom’s car in the garage (or rather, Precious, the old family car) and I went inside, calling around for my mom.
She came up the stairs crying at the same time my mom came in. My grandma had been shot dead. My mom had almost been hit, as well.
I woke myself up now. I can see the lake from my window and I keep having flashbacks to the dream. I’m scared to walk around in my house right now but I need to finish my photo assignment that I’m kinda three days late on.
Somehow, my best friend calmed me down. She’s the only person who can do that for me anymore, you know? I don’t know how or why or if it even makes sense but just hearing her voice is enough to calm to the achy butterflies gnawing away at my chest.
I’m gonna go now.
Love and peace
- Madi