It's winter again.

For all I thought I'd ever need,
It's hard to face
The Holidays
Without...
Well I've left my last message on your machine,
It's hard to face
The Holidays
When you're looking for the words to say.

--

I miss you already, Grandma. I’ll stand on the porch tonight and think of you as my fingers freeze slowly against the screen. This image will always remind me of you. This house will always remind me of you. I hate that you’re leaving me, Grandma. Leaving us. But I don’t hate you. I want you to be at peace. I want you to be happy. Bu hang on ‘til Christmas, okay? Please? For me? I don’t think I could make it through knowing that you’re gone. Knowing that you’re not here for me to sit on your knee and giggle, to know that you won’t smile at me and ask me for your kiss again.
I’m sorry I’m not there right now. I want to spend every last minute with you but it’d hurt because you don’t know what’s happening. You don’t know that you’re dying. I wonder what you’d do if you did - would it scare you? Or would you be at peace. Have you lived your life? Are you going to miss us - will you be a star like you promised and look down at me?
I miss you already. I don’t want you to go.